Hi, I know! It’s been a whole year!! This is Bustey, and you’re on my page in momma’s blog, lifewithoutmentors. A lot has changed and happened in my life.
Momma, my sweet momma whom I wuvvv!! Yes, well she kissed me in April and said for me to be a good dog, and to remember that she will be back, and that it will be for a few weeks longer this time, but to remember that she will never leave me and will always return for me. Well, I knew something was about to happen, like big, but wasn’t sure exactly, just knew that I could trust my momma because she has never let me down.
After barely two months since said self-care, yesterday I realized that a dullness had begun to fall over my renewed, refueled, and joyful self; that got my attention!
The moment this epiphany occurred, I quickly jumped into action. Why?? Well, because this self-care had been quite costly; not only to my finances, but also to my physical and mental being, even as it was healing the latter two.
I have taken on a new interest in watching how people laugh! I don’t mean a polite laugh or a quick little chuckle. I refer to the kind of laughter that starts from the forehead, involves the eyes, the cheeks, the mouth, shows teeth, and causes the rest of the body to shake in glorious happiness!
Whenever I return home and I’m about to enter my house, I experience this kind of happiness, because I know that I’m about to reunite with my dog Bustey!!!! He immediately turns to look at me, jumping off his seat, sometimes pausing and taking a long stretch, then not delaying his relief by greeting me with joy, excitement, and a big smile that causes his entire body to shake; he causes my pulse to race even more with joy as I watch his ‘hiney’ and his tail shake, back and forth, at high speed, as he tries to make contact with me!! Such a beautiful sight!! His reaction to me causes me to immediately drop everything and sit on the closest chair or floor as we envelop ourselves in hugs, licks and laughter!!! Every time!!
It’s so good to be back!!!!! Yaaaay!! Yippy do da!!!!
It’s been more than three months since I’ve blogged. I played hooky for a while to take care of some urgent business, that will consume the time of even the most efficient. I missed being here…I love this place where I share my thoughts and experiences. This is my place of catharsis!
Since I was a young person, I heard of the phenomenon called retirement. It was something way yonder, in this dark hole of unknown things. My Mom retired when she still lived in New York City, a few decades back, and she never talked about it with us, what it meant, etc. etc.
So, where is the building, I keep wondering? I thought, maybe they had a setback financially or something related to permits that has slowed their plans. Oh well, I’m sure sooner or later, it will be built.
This morning as I rounded the corner and took a quick peek above the metal fencing, surrounding the perimeter of the lot, I was shocked! How come I didn’t see those concrete frames before? And, look, the pillars are all over the lot. Well, what do you know, I thought. They have been building!! I just couldn’t see the construction workers. Out of view, they were building the FOUNDATION!!
The Fall Season is here! And it didn’t just happen. A cool wind inserted itself during an otherwise hot day about five weeks ago. And, I had thought, okay I’m forewarned, the cold is a-coming! Next thoughts were followed with actions related to the warm/hot weather we experienced for the weeks since; all things Summer continued to be enjoyed. But, alas, last evening when I took my dog Bustey out to potty, I was grateful to be wearing a thick fleece outfit!
If I could change one thing about Fall and Winter, it would be to experience cool/cold and still have brightness; it’s that lack of light that makes it difficult. Of course, there’s also the bleakness, the greyish outdoors, along with the cloudiness, darkness, windiness, and cold that makes these seasons more difficult to handle.
Most people develop some form of strategy to deal with cold weather. Certainly, being prepared with the appropriate clothing is a necessity. Beyond that, I guess it’s a matter of preference. Perhaps, for some, it’s food, i.e. the stews and pies and hot drinks, etc.
Well, I went shopping today for hats! I had already refreshed the basic necessities last year. This year, it’s the fun stuff, which means, forget about the neutrals, because it’s time for color, the colors that will obliterate all the lackluster of the cold weather. So, hats with pom poms, beanies, baseball hats, with visors, newsboy, bucket, and my new favorite-cloche; and the colors are – emerald green, strawberry red, burgundy berry, rust brown, lipstick red. Nothing like some pop of color, I say!!
In the middle of January, when another bleakness intrudes, the one occurring after all the festive colored decorations are taken down, I will be putting on my colors that have the ability to cheer me and others. And I do have precedence. One year, I had one bright baby blue sweater that immediately helped me feel alive and cheerful! Another time, I wore a yellow sweater which did the same for me. Today, I wore the antiqued, two-toned, berry color, brushed cotton, baseball cap and I received compliments. So, I think I’m on to something here, LOL!!
Why my title, ‘The beginning of the end?’ I believe the Fall Season is a time of reflection for most, despite all the celebrations in between. So, as the year will soon come to an end, for me, this season heralds that beginning. Thus far, the year has been cluttered with many personal challenges. However, I choose to celebrate, with external color that reflects my internal joy and happiness that I’ve lived through it all.
On the phone, I cheekily said to my sister, “We’re going to New Jersey. Why do you think?” We had already travelled for several hours, and Mom was comfortably asleep in the back seat of the 2022 Dodge Ram truck we had rented. My sister answered, “New Jersey, why are you going there?” Waiting for the answer I knew she knew, and then I heard it, “Mom’s friend Elena!!!” I replied, “YESSSS!!!”
Mom worked with her friend Elena, while employed by the Park Lane Hotel in New York City, decades ago, for decades. Mom, now living several states away, was thrilled one day when she was at a doctor’s appointment in Brooklyn, New York, and ran into Elena in the waiting room. They embraced and chatted like the good friends they were that had retired and lost touch with that part of their lives. That emotional reunion occurred about ten years ago.
I am into watching documentaries these days…on important people and events that have occurred both in the distant and recent past.
Some recent ones are: Jamal Khashoggi’s death, the American Civil War, the Underground Railroad, Jeff Bezos.
Today, while listening and watching some of Bob Marley’s musical videos, in the same vein of a documentary I guess, but occurring in my mind, I began to wonder about his everyday life surrounding his ‘consciousness music.’ This reggae icon, this influencer, this pioneer, this singer/songwriter who continues to cause the young and old to hum and sing and sway to his rhythms.
Recently, I got ready to make a purchase of $85. for a white linen sundress that had these tiny aquamarine designs on the skirt. Such a happy looking dress, I thought, as I imagined all the occasions I would wear it. It was also handmade, which I always appreciated. I tried it on right then and there, in the middle of the open air market! I asked my friend, what he thought, as he is a linen aficionado. He thought it looked nice!
I imitate others more than I’d like to think, not as in mimicking but more as in reproducing what I see. I suspect that is true for many of us, whether a positive or negative reproduction in our lives.
For example, last week I was at a weekend outdoor market. I saw a woman wearing a pair of block heel mid-calf two-inch boots with shorts and a cute top and I was smitten, and immediately wanted to replicate that in my wardrobe. I thought, what a nice style as we welcome Fall weather here in Virginia.